June 1 2025
Last night Jip (My boyfriend) and I finished playing Silent Hill 3 for the first time. We just finished playing 2 a month or two ago and then found 3 in the second hand video game store not long after and when we found it i was so excited omg. I LOVED it. The locations were so dreadful, my favourites were hospital (esp the mirror room, i screamed so much omg hahaha), the amusement park and the chapel. But I liked all of it so much, each location I was like surely it can't get more dread-inducing but it did. I also loved Heather as a character, I think her feisty non-chalant teenm attitude was such a good creative fit. I would like to one day make a horror video game. I already have some ideas for story and gameplay. and of course I would want to compose it. I think it would be so fun to do sound design for horror!!
I'm in the last 4 weeks before my big show. During this time we're going to make the short film with Berry and I'm so excited omgomgomg. We're going to make it so creepy and weird. We're going to use really fucked up AI generations for some of the horror scenes and project them on all different panels. I've been doing a bit of research on the ethical use of AI (which I definitely need to do more of, especially if I want to work with it in my art) and I found some research that the environmentasl impact isn't as detrimental as I previously thought eg. 1kg of beef costs more carbon that generating 100 words from miss chat every day for a year. CLICK FOR REFERENCE There's also THIS SITE where I found a lot of info with references about it. It talks about the real pressing ethical issues like hacking, democratic processes and warfare. More often thatn not when I see people debating it's ethical use, I mostly see things on the environment and stolen art but I think we need to discuss these matters more too. The website also discuss the art thing and argues although yes art has been stolen, but on the other hand mass opt outs can lead to culturual erasure of marginalised styles which I thought was an interesting take. On one hand I want to think well fuck off, they should compensate artists but on the other... AI is undeniably part of our future and isn't it better that it learns from as much as possible? I don't know, I need to ponder and research it more. I don't agree with the idea that all AI art is souless and bad though! I've seen lots of great art that uses AI in some way, it just depends on how you use it.
Anyway, I'm of course still nervous for the Alison show. Like sometimes I feel really confident about my work but deep down I'm scared everyone will hate it and me and that I'm just a stupid little girl. BUt also what's the point in that. I'm going to die eventually, why spend so much time rotting in my own shame? I'm in a relatively good mood today though....
Went on a walk this morning and saw lots of cool bugs. I love bugs. I hope with Summer coming I see more. I would also like to see a frog this summer, I heard them in the muddy canal today.
